Some days back, I wrote on forgiveness and how it has helped me. I decided to share a little of my story so that you can understand that you are not alone.
See what you did:
You focused on how it’s not possible to heal and let go. You focused on why you shouldn’t let go. You focused on how it’s easy to say but forgot something.
That if you are in this category, you are the prisoner and the victim.
The person you held for long because you aborted for him, spent all your resources for him/her, who beat you up, who cheated on you, who abused you has moved on a long time ago.
But I don’t want you to blame yourself because if you knew better, you would do better.
So do you fall in this category?
1. You have made it a part of your life:
This means, you have accepted to be on the victim corner of life. You haven’t understood that the series of events in your life is a pointer to your purpose or future. You haven’t seen the relevance because you are blinded by the pain. If only I can explain somethings that has happened in my past, maybe you would understand how it has shaped what I do now. The other side is that you don’t deserve the pains you went though. You don’t deserve the abuse, rape, heartbreak or the separation you witnessed. You don’t and nobody said you did. It’s not an easy path but I’m happy when I see Bunmi who have gone through 9 rape incidents only to become a rape advocate and have saved the lives of many who got raped thereafter.
She became strong for others to survive. I’m happy when I see Joyce Meyer who was raped thoroughly by her father but still spread the message of healing across the nation. It’s not easy but only few can stand to receive the reward.
2. You are not ready to learn. You have gotten to a stage where anyone who talks about healing is your enemy. You spit at their words because you feel they don’t have a clue of what you went through. I have seen many like that but I’m more grateful for my clients who came back with great testimonies of how they got transformed just because they gave their mind the permission to heal.
3. You feel you deserved it and you blame it on yourself: That moment when you wish you didn’t give him/her the second and third chances, you end up thinking it’s your fault. Or maybe you wish you didn’t visit him which could have avoided the rape. Sometimes you think it’s your fault that your parents got separated. Whatever reasons you have, quit the blame game. It won’t get you anywhere.
Let me end with this story.
When I watched “Miracles from Heaven” recently, I cried at various points and wondered how it must have felt for the child and her family. It was easy to question God but I valued the strength of the little girl. She didn’t feel like a victim and she passed that same courage to the second little girl in the hospital who died with peace because of their encounter.
She got out of the illness after falling into a tree which was a sad point for me but at the end of the day, she had an encounter with God in death, got back to life and shared her story. The film has gone across the world to remind people of the love of God, His mission, His ways and His nature.
If she had not gone through months of sickness, days of pains, so many resources gone, the fall, the faith, that message of faith and love won’t have been birthed. I have realised that God let us pass through some situations not for ourselves but for the glory He intends to reveal. A bad incident that happened to you can heal nations and that’s what most important. It only depends on how willing you are to surrender your pains for His use. It depends on how you are willing to accept it all and turn it into gains.
If you deny all your pains and experiences, you may keep building unhealthy relationships, blaming everyone for your past and staying unattractive.
It’s time for you to stop the pity party and embrace your pain so that you can face life better and heal along the way as God strengthens you.
PS: If it’s too hard, let’s rub minds together. Your healing is my concern. Healing is a process not a day’s job but it begins with a permission from you.
You can also download my 10 days Living free devotional to help you on the journey of healing. You can download it here: Living Free Devotional