Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure , hostility or antagonism towards someone or something usually combined with an urge to harm.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 says ” Be not hasty in the spirit to be angry for anger resteth in the bosom of fools” Anger makes us say the wrong words that we regret later. It can bring a relationship to an end if not handled well. It can lead to verbal and physical abuse.We all have different kind of temperaments and for a person with an hot-temper, there is always a reason to be angry. Especially the cholerics, they are prone to anger.
So what if you are in a relationship with such person or you are the one having the problem? You need to work on yourself because Proverbs 14:17a says ” He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly”. It makes you do what you don’t want to do. You become a slave to your emotions.
How do you help your partner?
When you notice that you have a partner that flares up at every little thing, you must ask yourself if you can endure and cope with him/her first. If you can’t, opt out but if you can , here are ways to help:
Briddle your tongue: Stop trying to make them angry. If talking too much can irritate them, then do away with it. Avoid anything that can casue displeasure to them. What if you have something different to say? Then learn from here: proverbs 15:1″A soft answer turneth away wrath but grievious words stir up anger”. Be polite. When asked a question, answer calmly.
Don’t try to be harsh, it can stir up their mind. We all have to learn to give polite answers to people no matter how displeased we are by the question. Its a way of avoiding fights.
Pray for them: Instead of talking and preaching all the time which they wont easily learn from, try praying for them. You cant change your patrtner but you can bring the change. Your calm attitude can motivate them to control it too.
Talk to your partner politely about it.Profer ways that can help. Promise to be calm and supportive too. Your tone determines if your partner would listen or not. Study the bible together on issues of anger and be ready to work hand in hand about it.
How do you help yourself?
Observe and Accept your temperament so you can know how to handle it. (John 8:32).
Study the bible (Joshua 1:8). Meditate on bringing in ways to help control yourself.
Proverbs 15:33a “The fear of the lord is the instruction of wisdom “Pray earnestly about it. God is faithful to help your struggles.(John 14: 14). He is ready to lift your burdens.
Go for counselling. When you have someone guiding and monitoring or someone else teaching and coaching, it becomes easier and you become more alert.
Discuss with your partner about it. Let your partner know how much you are trying to work on it and how bad you feel when you are overwhelmed with the emotion.
Don’t just sit there pointing hands to condemn. Be quick to help too.
Don’t feel too relaxed with your temperament, be willing to change too.