How to manage your moody and unfriendly mindset 

Among all the 4 temperaments, it’s easier for Sanguines and Phlegmatics to make friends because they are people persons unlike the melancholics and Cholerics that need to put in extra effort. 

Before you date, at least you would start by making friends.

What happens when you don’t even want to talk to people?



The melancholy likes to be alone locked up in the room for days yet wants to settle down soon.

As much as your personality determines your framework, it’s necessary to build intentional friendship.

You don’t have to wait till you are attracted to the person before making friends.

What happens if you find it difficult to make friends? 

These few tips should work:

1. Understand the essence of having people you can relate with when necessary. Don’t see it as a burden. Your beliefs around making friends needs to change first. You don’t need millions of friends but be willing to know more than your family members. It is necessary to learn to be accommodating. 

2. Be deliberate about leaving your comfort zone to meet new people. Sometimes it requires that you create the time to meet people even when they are around you. 

3. Intentionally go for events and conferences with the aim of meeting two or more people during and after the event. Start with the people sitting around you. Yes, that’s easier though. 

4. Learn to smile if you want to have people come around you especially the Cholerics. I know you want to get too serious about life and work but learn to give a little smile. 

5. Stop feeling that people are invading your space when they want to know you, see it as an opportunity. Most melancholy love to be alone and expect to have friends. Why don’t you want people around you? Observe the reasons and the root cause. 

If you are not friendly, nobody will be around you.

Beyond saying hello, show interest by asking what they do and how you can help.

All these questions of “What if I don’t know what to say again? “.

You know what to say, you are simply not putting your mind into it. 

The best way to dig deeper into more conversations is by asking more questions in a very polite manner that shows you care beyond knowing the answers. 



Imagine you have to pitch to 20 people daily just to earn 2million per day, won’t you make friends with more than 50 people?




Act like you are getting a reward and you will find yourself flowing.

Use the trends, environment and response you get to build a deeper form of communication.

Learn to also request for a point of contact too. Don’t be shy, the highest painful response you can get is a No and it won’t kill you.

Even if you have a busy schedule, what do you do after church? School? Work?  

Run home? And you are expecting someone to talk to you?

What about social media? Don’t give me that “but some people don’t respond look”. You simply need to learn how to strike a healthy conversation online more than those Hi and sup you do.


If you were to strike a conversation with President Obama, how will you present yourself via inbox chats?

  • Introduce yourself. 
  • Strike a connection. 
  • Offer value. 


The fact is, be intentional. Your temperament isn’t an excuse. Master it. 

Have you gotten my new book “How I Got The Ring”?

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