The Crazy Blunt Truth About Preparing For Marriage

Every time my friends see pictures of beautiful and sexy brides with their  tall, handsome, naira-loaded grooms in their wedding attires, they are always filled with ecstasy of what marriage is all about. “Oh, I can’t wait to be married. Gosh, they are so cute! Wow! What a perfect match!  Oh my God! See her dress, mehn this guy is fine kind of talks!” And in my mind am like, is it just about the beautiful decoration and attires? Is it just about the luxury and the beauty? Why are people always feeling that a beautiful picture plus a beautiful couple plus an expensive romantic wedding equals  a happy forever living family? It’s not a crime to prepare so hard for a wedding or wish for the best event. It’s not at all but sometimes I wish I knew how prepared they were behind the scene. Have they really taken time to read books, pray and prepare for commitment or they just managed to spend on an expensive wedding that could attract every single and married couple?
It’s not a big deal to have an elaborate and expensive wedding but you need to prepare well to get the best. The size of your wedding doesn’t determine the joy it would bring. So many ladies only concentrate on wearing the latest hairs and gowns rather than wait on the latest word from God concerning their future. Well, you can never know a prepared couple by their faces, it’s in the heart. Don’t just be wowed by the decor, beauty and luxuries, you should also pray that God directs them well. I keep wondering why the singles are praying to be married while the married are praying to be divorced and happily single. What an irony!!! The truth is, we also have good marriages but they don’t seem to be celebrated as much as the world celebrate divorces. So for every marriage, it now looks as if they have managed to laugh in and cry out. Isn’t it a wonderful gift to be married? I saw a church flier with a theme tagged “I must marry this year” and I was wondering if that pastor would also take time to prepare them beyond the hot sizzling prayers.
Why does people get desperate over marriage? Am not trying to scare you but I just want you to relax a bit before you rush and find out why you are getting married to that dude or damsel. Is it because of his money or her sexy shape? Is it because his parents likes you or because her friends like your philanthropist gestures? Is it because you are so desperate to settle down or because you feel marriage would make you happy? Well, marriage doesn’t change anything but your status.
My friend was sharing recently with me after visiting a newly wed friend and was like “Marriage is sweet o. It really changes people. My friend now talks differently”. I quickly told her “Your friend must have changed before the wedding, you are only noticing it now. Marriage didn’t change the way she talks but information upgraded her mentality”.  
Stop comparing your partner with someone else and face your lives. What works for you might not work for others and vice versa so be careful how you wish for other peoples marriage. Get ready to work things out. Don’t go into marriage with someone who believes only women must make a marriage work or a only man must provide to make his family happy. Go with someone who has the fear of God, who is interested in building a godly home, sound family and procuring a better generation. Go with a woman who would handle your life well, your children, in-laws, neighbours et al. Stop thinking marriage would change how they think. You would be surprised to wake up to the same body and shape. Face reality. All that glitters is not gold. Just because you see beautiful pictures of weddings on several blogs and online platforms doesn’t mean things are beautiful behind the scene. Don’t settle for less. A man who cheats on you, beats you, abuses you and drink will remain the same after marriage. Lai lai, you can never change him. A woman who would forgo a vigil for a club night and attend every social gathering every week leaving the children in the hands of the nannies at all times wouldn’t change her mentality also. Stop thinking you can change people. Actually, marriage brings out the best and worst of people. It’s not one sided, so you must put on your amour to face the battle.
Marriage requires a lot of patience. Get ready to develop it. Marriage can be sweet if you both decide to make it work.
Bottom line: Pray for the best. Live for the best. Work for the best.  It’s in your hands. Love is not a feeling but a choice. A relationship is about two people not just your life. Prepare well. The day you stop learning, you start dying.

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