What will you do if something goes wrong in your relationship?
The foundation and purpose of every relationship determines it’s quality and strength.
When two people who have always loved each other suddenly become dissatisfied with their state of relationship, there is always a root cause.
Let me give different instances.
- If one partner has always complained about the attitudes of the other and no change or adjustment was made, it can cause a U turn in the relationship.
- If you have always spent time with each other and suddenly distance, your job or circumstances come in between, each partner may have to adjust and stop expecting 100% of what happens before. There is a difference between having no job or business and calling every two hours and then being busy and calling twice a day. As much as the new change isn’t convenient, both partners need to discuss about it and adjust.
If you suddenly stop being happy in a relationship, it’s very necessary to find out the cause. Why did she stop being happy? What did she do wrong? Did the man stop giving her enough attention, money or care? Or did he/she just developed the irritation from within? Is there something he/she does that causes her to feel that way?
Many people go into relationships to meet an emotional need and the partners might not be aware that they are the last resort for such need. The expectations around the relationship would be too much that one person may suffer more.
An example is if Laide had lost her father at age 8 and constantly craved for a fatherly figure love. If she meets a man who acts like her father, protects her and make her feel secured and loved, she may place him in the void space the father left but he may not be aware. The moment he begins to change his attitude towards her and that void becomes open, she may start feeling unhappy. Some men date to fill a mother figure or a househelp figure. Whatever the case maybe, most people go into relationships to soothe a need and it’s pertinent to evaluate your relationship regularly. Your own need may be something else. If your mother criticised you in your upbringing years, you may seek for solace in the heart of another. This is why you need to heal from past baggage, hurts and experiences that may be holding you down. I shared my own experiences in my book “How I Got The Ring“.
The best way to solve any of this issue is to communicate. Nobody has the power to read your mind so whenever you feel ignored, unhappy or dissatisfied in your relationship, take time to see your partner or talk over the phone if there is distance. In these days of advanced technology, you can embrace video calls to express yourself and observe your partner’s reaction and willingness to adjust.
I would repeat that if you don’t always discuss with your partner, then make it a ritual now. Communication is the lifeblood of every relationship and trust is the engine.
It’s beyond the casual “How was your day and have you eaten”? It should be deeper than that, if you lack deep content in your communication, then something is wrong.
1. Find out what went wrong.
2. Trace the source.
3. Talk about it with clarity and understanding without accusing anyone.
4. Talk about the way forward.
5. Be patient with each other.
If you need help, you can read my true life experiences of how I handled my past issues, how I worked on myself, how I overcame heartbreaks, became attractive and attracted my husband here: HOW I GOT THE RING
What do you have to say?